We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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