i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
