She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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