I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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