The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
