guys are only as good as the porn they watch
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
