Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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