Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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