Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
