i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
