Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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