i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
