I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
