You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
