I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
