why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
