It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
