Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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