i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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