I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
