Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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