You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
