remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
