We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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