thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Let's paint friendship bongs
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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