I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This girl is more easily done than said...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
