Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
