my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize