I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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