If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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