best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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