we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
