You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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