so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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