I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
