if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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