You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
