obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
