Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
