this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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