Define "chronic" masturbator.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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