Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
