I am in a vortex of obligation.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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