Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
