A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
