i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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