I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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