i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
