Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
