Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
