remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize