I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
