I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Panties = found
Randomize
