So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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