PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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