i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Randomize
