end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
