I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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